Almost three years of constant ache; I so badly wish to overcome this great abyss; don't let it swallow me again. I want to exist in this moment, to no longer live by memory, to love everything, especially him. Especially myself. The darkness dwells within myself, it pulls me closer with each movement of my body. I wait and I crumble. I let it sink.
How I long to float above myself, above this world, this dark and wretched world. Look at my soul, black and dripping. Let me go, let me surrender to myself, to this happiness which waits for me on the other side of the sunrise. The world shines in and I melt away, I disappear into the shadows of my misery to awake on the other side, the bliss, the beauty and the perfect vision I had all these years. I wait and I dream.