There was a man I feel in love with once. He saw me as a child, naive and restless. He was a champion, strong and eager. I fell in love with the world he showed me, the stories he told and the way he held my hand. Never had I met anyone quite like him before, and perhaps it was the newness of everything, the utter whirlwind of it all that made me fall so madly. It became a love I could never truly have and one I could never completely forget. The scenes linger in my mind, clinging onto my crumbling heart. Even with the pain and loneliness I find from time to time, I still love pieces of him.
Of everything I am and could have been at that time, I wish you could have loved me and seen me for everything I wanted and not for the nothing I possessed. I was no one and you were someone who had the world at his hands, a simple grasp that could fade away without regret. The way you carried yourself in the world dazzled me to the bone, it erupted my core and I could never get enough of your words. Talk for hours until the sun beams above each morning and lie with me in the grass of Kyoto Gardens. I loved you, each moment, but you quickly forgot my soul. I floated away from the world, in the breeze of your goodbye kiss, alone on a cold train platform. Forever can pass and I'll still love you, the love we will never have still stirs within.
This is the sound of my longing for you. Love you, Lana.